Grief has held me in its grip for too long.
I am trying to come up for a peaceful breath.
Each time I open my heart to let in a crack of light, the darkness seems to steal in.
Maybe the answer is not crack open a crack but to radiate light and love so brightly nothing can enter against the glow.
Hago la lucha. I make the struggle.
I am trying to let that light out, and here is a poem that has sprung forth from this process:
The Downside of Grief
Downside? Get it? I'm really down with this.
One of the down sides of grieving is that the
only sense of humor I have now is a morbid one.
"Good grief", what is that....exactly?
The question, “How are you?' becomes a deep abyss I will fall into
if I answer honestly.
I feel like running, screaming into the wilderness in an attempt to run
away from the realization of the truth.
Personal hygiene can take a turn for the worse.
I realize I don't care about enhancing my appearance or much else.
Actually putting on clothes for the week seems a huge accomplishment.
Every bath I take attempting to soak away the sadness
becomes a salt bath with the tears I cry.
I opt for a shower to hide the sound of sobs.
Eventually just giving up wearing mascara
as it washes off with each new tsunami.
My body feels so heavy, feels everything so deeply;
I truly understand the metaphor of a heavy hearted sorrow.
Making dinner is monumental…. even deciding to eat can take hours,
deciding what to eat can be too daunting.
Rice is the go-to when nothing else works.
Constantly guarding what I say to almost everyone so the rawness
of my grief doesn't scare the shit out of them and make them turn away.
Or worse yet, be caught unawares plummeting on the downside of grief.
Ann Muriel written 11/25/17
We all go through grief in our lives and I hope this helps others on their journey.
I am trying to come up for a peaceful breath.
Each time I open my heart to let in a crack of light, the darkness seems to steal in.
Maybe the answer is not crack open a crack but to radiate light and love so brightly nothing can enter against the glow.
Hago la lucha. I make the struggle.
I am trying to let that light out, and here is a poem that has sprung forth from this process:
The Downside of Grief
Downside? Get it? I'm really down with this.
One of the down sides of grieving is that the
only sense of humor I have now is a morbid one.
"Good grief", what is that....exactly?
The question, “How are you?' becomes a deep abyss I will fall into
if I answer honestly.
I feel like running, screaming into the wilderness in an attempt to run
away from the realization of the truth.
Personal hygiene can take a turn for the worse.
I realize I don't care about enhancing my appearance or much else.
Actually putting on clothes for the week seems a huge accomplishment.
Every bath I take attempting to soak away the sadness
becomes a salt bath with the tears I cry.
I opt for a shower to hide the sound of sobs.
Eventually just giving up wearing mascara
as it washes off with each new tsunami.
My body feels so heavy, feels everything so deeply;
I truly understand the metaphor of a heavy hearted sorrow.
Making dinner is monumental…. even deciding to eat can take hours,
deciding what to eat can be too daunting.
Rice is the go-to when nothing else works.
Constantly guarding what I say to almost everyone so the rawness
of my grief doesn't scare the shit out of them and make them turn away.
Or worse yet, be caught unawares plummeting on the downside of grief.
Ann Muriel written 11/25/17
We all go through grief in our lives and I hope this helps others on their journey.
RSS Feed